✈️ "You're Not at Home, Karen: A Comical Crash Course in Airplane Etiquette
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Let’s set the scene: you’ve packed your perfectly compressed cubes, your carry-on is clean and chic, you’re wearing your oversized JetSet Shade sun hat for drama, and you’re ready for takeoff. But wait—your rowmate just took off their shoes. With no socks. 😳
Friends, it’s time we had “the talk.”
No, not that talk.
The Airplane Etiquette Talk.
Because somewhere between baggage claim and boarding group C, we lost all our manners—and it’s starting to smell like it.
🧼 1. Bathe Like You Mean It
This is The Clean Voyager, not The Musty Nomad. Shower before heading to the airport. Deodorant is your friend. So is toothpaste. You’re not hiking the Alps—yet.
Pack This from TheCleanVoyager.com:
➡️ PureEase Hypoallergenic Disposable Towel Set – for those “emergency refresh” moments.
➡️ AquaGlow Portable Bidet – because even your backside deserves luxury.
🎒 2. Carry Your Bag in Front Like a Civilized Human
Dragging your carry-on down the aisle like a wrecking ball isn’t it. Position your backpack or tote in front of you so Grandma’s shins and my forehead stay intact. It's not MMA—it's aisle 14.
🐾 3. Muzzle That ✌🏼Service✌🏼 Animal
We love dogs. But not when they’re free-styling up and down the cabin like it’s Coachella. If your “service” pet is louder than the engine, we’ve got problems.
🧃 4. Benadryl is a Blessing
Got kids with the energy of a Red Bull-sponsored squirrel? Love that for you. But also: maybe it’s time for a nap aid. For them. For us. For humanity.
💨 5. Control Your Air Vent Like It’s Nuclear Power
Aim it at you. Not me. Not the baby two rows back. Not the pilot. Just. You. This isn’t Avatar—don’t airbend on a plane.
😬 6. If You're Gonna Cough or Sneeze... Don’t.
Swallow it. Repress it. Tape your face shut. Or, just visit TheCleanVoyager.com for:
➡️ AeroClean Nano Atomizer Fogger – Disinfect the air like a boss.
➡️ PureGuard UV Sterilizer – Your immune system will thank you.
🍑 7. Stay in Your Assigned Seat
I promise the plane will open from the front. You’ll get your selfie in front of the gate soon. Sit. Down.
😴 8. No Small Talk During Takeoff
Unless you’re handing me a mimosa or offering an upgrade to first class, I don’t want to hear about your cousin’s wedding. Pop in your earbuds, pretend I’m invisible, and let’s both nap like adults.
🍪 9. If They’re Sleeping, Let Them Sleep
I know, you’re kind. You want to ask if your seatmate wants pretzels. But no. Let them dream. We don’t need snacks that bad.
🚻 10. Use the Airport Restroom, Not Row 17
If you’re hopping up and down 12 times during a 2-hour flight, you need a diagnosis, not aisle access. Be kind—pee before you board.
💡 Final Boarding Call:
Flying doesn't have to be a germy, chaotic, leg-kicking experience.
Pack smart. Travel clean. Keep it classy.
🎒 Shop your favorite travel must-haves at TheCleanVoyager.com
🌍 Need help booking your next chic getaway? Hit up the experts at Nomadic Travels LLC.
Follow us for more unsolicited—but totally necessary—travel wisdom.
Because your seatmate deserves better. So do you.